Seth's first post

Alright, I can't wait to see what Seth wrote for today's post!

. . .

Wait a minute. . . why isn't there anything here?

Seth?

Seth?

. . .

Hmm.

I guess he just wasn't manly enough. So much for 'new content every day this week'.

All complaints should be forwarded to shlutter@gmail.com.

- The Webmaster

The Art of Bear Wrestling

Recently my calculus teacher saw a bear in her yard. Since she didn't know the proper way to handle a bear, she hid in her house. I'm here to help people with problems like this. Let's get started.

1. The first step is the most important: Rush the bear. When a bear gets to run towards you, the momentum behind it is more than enough to vaporize you.

2. WRESTLE. Once you get into the actual wrestling, you have to understand that bears are ruthless, and they WILL fight dirty. As you can see in this picture, the bear appears to be spanking this man to emotionally degrade and humiliate him.

3. Once you have wrestled with the bear for over 3 hours, he will start to slow down. This is your chance to disembowel the beast. Hold your pointer finger up and push it into his stomach, opening your fingers as you do this to get your whole fist into the animal.

4. After the demon has expired, you MUST take a part of the animal; tooth, claw etc. This is to ensure that the bear cannot fight its way out of hell and back into its body.

5. Celebrate! You have just killed your first bear! You can celebrate anyway you like, such as ice cream cake, or bear meat.

- Vexil

THE PUNCHLINE IS MACHISMO

Cartoonist and geek Kelly Turnbull, a woman after my own heart, has created the badass webcomic 'Manly Guys doing Manly Things'.

Strip 1:

Follow the exploits of Captain Badass, Kratos, Ganon, Dante, and all of your favourite manly video game characters, whenever the comic is updated. Which is an infrequent occurrence, but. . . UNPREDICTABLE POSTING SCHEDULES ARE MANLY! HAAAH!

Also, check back in a few days for a full webcomic roundup, and tomorrow for a post by one of the other admins. (Finally!)

- The Webmaster

You, too, can be an internet star

Do you want to grow your e-peen by approximately five kilometres? Well, good news, everyone!

(Not really news, but I think most people missed it the first time around.) You can get published on Mantastic! That's right, this blog is intended to be driven by fan submissions, so any of your posts are welcome (as long as they're manly). Send it in via the handy link in the sidebar, and it will be reviewed and (probably) posted!

'But', I hear you say, 'Writing a whole post sounds like work! I'm busy arm-wrestling bears and grilling baby seal steaks; I don't have time for submitting content!' Well, never fear, because even you can make a contribution to our fine community. If you see anything that would make a good post (picture, video, or other web content), you can still send in a link. I, or one of the admins, will write the post, and you'll be credited in it.

So, get crackin'!

No, not Kraken.

And that goes for the comments, too. I know people are visiting, and yet somehow none of you have said anything. Just so you know, you can post anonymously. And the comments are unmoderated.

Have fun!

- The Webmaster

ISAIAH MUSTAFA!

Look at your blog. Now back to mine. Now back at your blog. Now back to mine.

Sadly, your blog is not mine. But if you stopped posting pictures of unicorns, and used a giant steak as a header, it could look like mine.

I'm on a proxy.

~

Any self-respecting man recognises the legendary sales pitch I've just paraphrased. 'The Old Spice Guy', who's actual name is Isaiah Mustafa (!), earned the respect of men and internets everywhere practically overnight when he starred in a series of adverts for Old Spice.

The most well-known ad:


After the viral success of the original TV spot, a new campaign was devised. A team of writers, a film crew, and some social media experts spent two days in a studio with Mr Mustafa. None survived. For those two days, they filmed video after video in response to ordinary people's (and web celebs') Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube comments.

He even managed to go meta:


This towering paragon of muscle and win became a pioneer in real-time advertising. His sense of humour and ridiculous good looks were an inspiration to all. The internet shed a collective (MANLY) tear when the campaign had run its course.

What real manly tears look like:

Not only did Isaiah Mustafa set a new standard for manliness in the 2010s, he did what many had thought to be impossible for any one man: won the admiration of the whole internet. In a way, he became the new Chuck Norris; a legend.

So, men, this is what you should be striving for every day. Just remember: anything is possible when you smell like an Old Spice Man and not a lady.

- The Webmaster

MAN COOKING!

Are you tired of eating nothing but ramen noodles and frozen waffles? Of your girlfriend cooking you dishes full of vegetables and tofu? Of becoming a pathetic husk of a man the minute you step into the kitchen? Are you ready to learn how to wield the awesome power of a frying pan?

Well, look no further - MAN COOKING is here to show you how to make the manliest, largliest meals on the web, guaranteed to put hairs on your chest hairs. HAAAAAAAH!

Episode 4 - The Gigantor


To learn more about the noble art of greaseliness:

Episode 1 - Burrito
Episode 2 - Roast Sandwich
Episode 3 - Steak
Episode 5 - Swiss Meat Roll
Episode 6 - Meatshroom

And be sure to check out LoadingReadyRun for more manliness!

- The Webmaster

ROLLOUT!

That's right, MANTASTIC is online! If you like the Femtastic! blog, you can head right back there, and talk about rainbows and cupcakes. But if you're looking for TruMANSburg's most badass blog, you've come to the right place.

For the next week, in celebration of rollout, there will be new content at least once every day, so check back often, or subscribe to the RSS feed. And don't forget that the power behind this blog. . . is you. Contribute your content to keep the manliness going strong!

Stay macho, my friends.

- The Webmaster