Announcement: DESERT BUS

You know what's manly? Sleep deprivation.

You know what else is manly? Video games from the 90s.

You know what's even manlier? Kicking disease's ass.

So, what happens when you combine all three? Desert Bus for Hope, that's what.

Think of DBfH as a five-day-long party, entirely interactive and streamed over the Web. Watch internet celebrities slowly go insane! See them poorly sing, dance, and otherwise embarrass themselves at the request of sick people like you! And marvel at all of the shiny, shiny prizes that get auctioned off! For the children.

If you want to read a full description of the event, just step right this way.

Here is an example of the (manly) shenanigans perpetrated during DBfH:




Did you find that in any way amusing? Then tune in for. . .

Desert Bus for Hope IV

Kicking off at

21.00 (9.00 pm) EST

on

Friday, 19 November 2010

Presented by

LoadingReadyRun

and broadcast live on

UStream.tv

Be there.

- The Webmaster

Manly Men Require Manly Dogs

Because as we all know, dogs are man's best friend. (What kind of fruit would have cats?)

If your dog is an ordinary mortal, though, it's not manly enough. You need to make it. . . immortal.



(More from The Midnight Show)

Actually, I take back that statement about cats. Some cats are pretty manly.

Man-imals 2 preview:

But remember, don't let your pet become manlier than you are, or else it won't obey you. Unless you have an Earth Badge.

- The Webmaster

Wise words to keep in mind

What will your epitaph be?

- The Webmaster

Week 1 wrap-up

So, MANTASTIC has now been up and running for a full week, and what a week it's been.

Surprisingly, everything went more smoothly that I could have hoped for, and was more fun than I'd expected. It feels like, after years of reading blogs, and thinking about considering starting my own, I've been able to hit the ground running and get into stride almost immediately. At this point, I can safely say that this experiment was a success, and the site isn't going anywhere.

Of course, it hasn't been without its problems. There have been posting errors, internal laziness, and a few very vocal haters getting in the way. These seemed like daunting problems at first, but looking at them now, it was silly to worry about them. I think we're through, and finally settled into a groove.

More important than haters, though, are all of the fans. I, on behalf of both myself and the other admins, would like to thank everyone who's visited, commented, 'liked' a link, subscribed to the RSS feed, or spread the word. And I'd especially like to thank Vexil, The Situation, and Drew for being part of the team, as well as A Number of Days of Nothing and Laxsith's Music Dump for following us on Blogger.

Now that this first rollout week is over, and we've (almost) delivered on our promise of daily updates, we're going to slow it down a little bit. No worries, though; there's still plenty of content. It'll just be posted every few days from now on. (Of course, it'll be slightly more often if you guys send stuff in.)

I'm glad you were all here to see the beginning of this blog, and to make it as much of a success as it was.

Stay macho, my friends.

- The Webmaster

MAN-IMALS

Some animals are weak and wimpy, and also delicious.

You will become fine cutlets:

Others, though, are more badass and manly. Look at this dog.

Look at him:

You aren't tough enough to wear a jacket like that. This dog would guard the shit out of your house, and also maybe be immortal.

This cat is in a rock band.

Also, a little bit 'shopped:

And that drummer had better not screw up, because as we all know, your cat will kill you.

Speaking of 'shopped things, there's this, too.

So realistic:

Silly people; bears don't need chainsaws to be manly. They will beat you the hell up merely with their massive claws. (Good thing you know how to fight them off.)

I feel as though I've been unfairly focusing on mammals. Surely, we can get some manly arthropods in here?

Yep:

How many knife fights have you been in recently? And when was the last time you broke a coconut in half with one hand?

Like this guy monstrosity:

This crab doesn't care about your puny human laws. He'll rip apart your rubbish bin just because he can.

So, as you can see, nature provides us with many examples of how to be manly. But of course, there are far too many to fit into one post; stay tuned for a second instalment later this month!

- The Webmaster

WORLD BEARD & MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIPS

As we all know, manliness is in direct proportion to largliness.

And as you all should know, facial hair is manly. (Except for neck beards, of course. Neck beads are just shitbag-ly.) So how can you show everyone that you're extremely manly? With extremely largely facial hair!

Like so:

Every two years, the manliest of the manliest beard growers gather in one place, to compete in the World Beard & Moustache Championships.

This guy is always the winner:

At last year's even in Anchorage, the Overall winner was David Traver, of our own Team USA. However, the competition also has awards for specific categories, such as Fu Manchus, Sideburns, and 'Freestyle Beards'; the Germans, Swiss, English, and Belgians always take home their share of wins.

Needless to say, if you ever need stock photos of real men, look no further than the WB&MCs.

(The Championships have also inspired a video by LRR.)

- The Webmaster

Seth's first post

Alright, I can't wait to see what Seth wrote for today's post!

. . .

Wait a minute. . . why isn't there anything here?

Seth?

Seth?

. . .

Hmm.

I guess he just wasn't manly enough. So much for 'new content every day this week'.

All complaints should be forwarded to shlutter@gmail.com.

- The Webmaster

THE PUNCHLINE IS MACHISMO

Cartoonist and geek Kelly Turnbull, a woman after my own heart, has created the badass webcomic 'Manly Guys doing Manly Things'.

Strip 1:

Follow the exploits of Captain Badass, Kratos, Ganon, Dante, and all of your favourite manly video game characters, whenever the comic is updated. Which is an infrequent occurrence, but. . . UNPREDICTABLE POSTING SCHEDULES ARE MANLY! HAAAH!

Also, check back in a few days for a full webcomic roundup, and tomorrow for a post by one of the other admins. (Finally!)

- The Webmaster

ISAIAH MUSTAFA!

Look at your blog. Now back to mine. Now back at your blog. Now back to mine.

Sadly, your blog is not mine. But if you stopped posting pictures of unicorns, and used a giant steak as a header, it could look like mine.

I'm on a proxy.

~

Any self-respecting man recognises the legendary sales pitch I've just paraphrased. 'The Old Spice Guy', who's actual name is Isaiah Mustafa (!), earned the respect of men and internets everywhere practically overnight when he starred in a series of adverts for Old Spice.

The most well-known ad:


After the viral success of the original TV spot, a new campaign was devised. A team of writers, a film crew, and some social media experts spent two days in a studio with Mr Mustafa. None survived. For those two days, they filmed video after video in response to ordinary people's (and web celebs') Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube comments.

He even managed to go meta:


This towering paragon of muscle and win became a pioneer in real-time advertising. His sense of humour and ridiculous good looks were an inspiration to all. The internet shed a collective (MANLY) tear when the campaign had run its course.

What real manly tears look like:

Not only did Isaiah Mustafa set a new standard for manliness in the 2010s, he did what many had thought to be impossible for any one man: won the admiration of the whole internet. In a way, he became the new Chuck Norris; a legend.

So, men, this is what you should be striving for every day. Just remember: anything is possible when you smell like an Old Spice Man and not a lady.

- The Webmaster

MAN COOKING!

Are you tired of eating nothing but ramen noodles and frozen waffles? Of your girlfriend cooking you dishes full of vegetables and tofu? Of becoming a pathetic husk of a man the minute you step into the kitchen? Are you ready to learn how to wield the awesome power of a frying pan?

Well, look no further - MAN COOKING is here to show you how to make the manliest, largliest meals on the web, guaranteed to put hairs on your chest hairs. HAAAAAAAH!

Episode 4 - The Gigantor


To learn more about the noble art of greaseliness:

Episode 1 - Burrito
Episode 2 - Roast Sandwich
Episode 3 - Steak
Episode 5 - Swiss Meat Roll
Episode 6 - Meatshroom

And be sure to check out LoadingReadyRun for more manliness!

- The Webmaster

ROLLOUT!

That's right, MANTASTIC is online! If you like the Femtastic! blog, you can head right back there, and talk about rainbows and cupcakes. But if you're looking for TruMANSburg's most badass blog, you've come to the right place.

For the next week, in celebration of rollout, there will be new content at least once every day, so check back often, or subscribe to the RSS feed. And don't forget that the power behind this blog. . . is you. Contribute your content to keep the manliness going strong!

Stay macho, my friends.

- The Webmaster